HOGG DIVISION II PREVIEW 2014Now that this league is full it's time for my fully inaccurate and totally irrelevant season preview. This is the drill..if I talk up your team you are doomed and if I write you off then you are a good chance for promotion so please accept my apologies in advance if I rate you. According to last year's scores for the coaches of this league the average season score of coaches in Division II is 48678 or 2116.45 points per week. The weekly tally is the season score divided by 23 (less one round due to three 'two thirds of a team' bye weeks).
This means that if you aren't scoring 2100 regularly then you are going to struggle in this league. I've broken up this preview into top four, middle ten and bottom four. For those from lower or higher leagues, the top two go up to Division I and the bottom four go down to Division III.
Top FourThese are the premiership and promotion fancies. The top four on the ladder doesn't have the same advantage as it does in real footy but if you do get that double chance you can get away with a dud final or a sudden attack of donutitis.
eddieslittleindians: With a scoring advantage of over a thousand points ahead of his nearest rival, it's pretty hard to tip anyone other than the indians for the title. With two teams pulling the pin that means Cowboys went up and the Rolfsbergers bypassed this league all together leaving the indians looking to be on the warpath. MAY-Z is a scoring machine and will be a prize scalp for everyone in this division. Should win the comp and go up to Divvy I next year. Didn't take long for the indian jokes ha ha.
Toolman: Aerie has been a solid coach his whole career and Division I beckons next season. Tooly should make the top four which means you need to win two finals to go up. His scoring patterns are pretty solid and he also knows how to win matches as well. It's not much good scoring points if you don't win, just as JimsTigerRoos. Top four.
JimsTigerRoos: Jimbo is well overdue for a change of luck. I can't think of a coach in the Hogg who has had more high scoring losses. If there was a stat for this I reckon the TigerRoos would top it. I feel sorry for his Cat because he must have kicked the poor creature many times over the years after scoring 2250 and getting rolled again. This is the year for JimsTigerRoos and I can see them hopping into the Top four and maybe even getting promoted.
Spud Factory FC: He used to be able to cut the Crab Mustard but now LMA is trying to tell you all he's a spud. Don't be fooled. This former Champions League coach will bounce back and is my smoky to sneak into the top four. The Factory should be able to manufacture enough wins to make the top four but perhaps promotion might be out of reach.
Middle TenThese are the contenders for the top eight. Some will challenge periodically for the top four and others will flirt with the relegation zone. When you've got bugger all idea who is going to win, this is the best way to write a preview.

For the Hogg Elite I'm going to have a 'top 15' and a 'bottom 3'.
Shark Week: Songy will hit a low note when he sees I've ranked him outside of the top four even though on points he's ranked third in the league. Shark Week will circle all year and is a pretty sure bet to make the top eight after a very solid season last year. I just get the feeling though that this team can get a bit flakey at times and with such a small margin for error maybe one or two finals is his level.
Killer Wombats: This former Division III stalwart has made great strides in the last two seasons and he's really burrowing down into it as he is now a genuine contender for the Division II title. The arrival of the indians means that the Wombats need to continue to improve. I can see the Wombats finishing around 6th so much will depend on the trades situation once August arrives.
Delicious: Didn't have the sweetest of seasons last year but I reckon he can get out of the valley and recover to be a top eight side in this league this season. This experienced Hogg coach knows the business and I think he can be a threat. Top eight.
Destiny's Uncles: Blinky is rated highly in terms of point scoring last season and will need to find that winning tough this year as I can see a few improvers in the ranks this season. Blinky's destiny appears to be in the top eight but you'd think Some Can't, FOOTYLEDGENS and Hips Don't Lie to be fighting it out for that last top eight spot.
Some Can't: The Can'ts have a history of doing really well against the good sides so Toolman and eddieslittleindians beware, this team is a potential Giantkiller. However, despite some strong performances over the year, they remain a mid table side and as above, it's going to be real tight for finals spots. Watch this space. Always good to watch the Can'ts.
Hips Don't Lie: After storming up the Hogg ranks after an impressive debut Hogg season, the Hippys fell behind their stable mate Les's Men who is now in Divvy I and Hogg Elite this season. If the good Hips come out then the top four is a chance but if the bad Hips come out they could be as low as 12th. My guess is that their real form is somewhere in between which makes them a potential finalist. If they get their shit together though - look out.
FOOTYLEDGENS: The LEDGENS were in free fall after demotion from Premier, then Divvy I and then 1-7 in Divvy II last season. Then there was a turning point and the LEDGENS started winning matches and picked up some very big scalps along the way. A lot of the early losses were TigerRoos' type losses and here is another coach who hasn't had much luck. Cub must refrain from getting too funky with his POD players and needs a much better start to be a factor this season. Possible finalist.
red cans: The red cans came up from lower divvys but got stuck in this league last year as they struggled for consistency. The cans best is very good indeed and they are certainly not easybeats but this side is prone to the occasional shocker. This is a very tough league to read and teams like red cans are the toughest because it's a real Forrest Gump special. I reckon they might just miss out here.
Big Als Balls: You've got to admire such a proud declaration and with a team name like that you'd expect to see some funky and courageous POD selections. The alternative is something we do not wish to see.

Al was another side that went back a step last year but the balls will bounce back this season and make a much better fist of it ha ha.
Backyarders: Maybe the backyarders were out the back sinking a few red cans but pels' boys didn't really get warm last season. While I'm not expecting the yarders to smash all comers I think they will do better this season in terms of win loss and comfortably avoid relegation. If luck goes their way they could make the eight but Milhouse's eight ball says outlook not so good.
Bottom FourThese are the sides that I'm selecting for an easier life down in Division III in 2015. This league doesn't appear to have two walk up starts for relegation like Falrak and Pidge were last season so the relegation battle will be a very tight one indeed. On points the cobras look a monty to go down but this is a side that scored bugger all points yet avoided relegation in successive years in Division I.
Moneybrawl: The brawlers are probably a bit stiff to be placed in this part of the preview but Dogmatic has already admitted he'll be away for the early part of the season and he'll be flat out trying to get out of the bottom four if things don't go his way early. With very few factors to consider when writing a preview for such an even league, Moneybrawls early absence is a negative factor. While he'll have trades in the bank towards the end of the year he might not have maximised the value of his cash cows in order to take full advantage.
Brown Boys: Browny is probably dancing now that I've selected the Browns to be flushed as everytime i write him off he comes up smelling Roses. Browny was good at times last season but my spidey senses are tingling and I sense the Brown Boys are in for a long year. Get on for the bottom four. Or the top four.
Denver Crows: So is it possible to play Hogg from another Country? After 2012 I would say yes as our Mile High coach did well but after last season the jury is well and truly out. It would take a Boulder pundit than I to predict anything but another Rocky season for the Denver Crows.
cobras: I'm taking it seriously this year REB says my brother in law Dale. He is looking like taking out the Pidge award this season but unlike Pidge and Falrak he does look at his team from time to time as he does not enjoy losing to myself or his brother in the Piglet shield. Any coach that plays the cobras during one of those weeks might be in for a bit of a shock but week to week maintenance of his side is not Dale's bag. This is too good a league for that approach and I expect the cobras to spoon up this season.
REB Sez..1. eddieslittleindians
2. Toolman
3. Jims TigerRoos
4. Spud Factory FC
5. Shark Week
6. Killer Wombats
7. Some Can't
8. Delicious
9. destinys uncles
10. Hips Don't Lie
11. FOOTYLEDGENS
12. Big Als Balls
13. red cans
14. Backyarders
15. Moneybrawl
16. Brown Boys
17. Denver Crows
18. cobras
regards,
REB