SA Footy

Things Wogs Don't Do
I don't eat curry
I don't eat jam
I don't drink cidar
and I don't like spam
I've never tasted vegemite, tinned spaghetti or activite
I don't go camping in a combi van
I've got heaps of uncles, but none called Stan
My father doesn't play no golf
When I was small I hated Rolf
I've never joined a protest march
My garden is devoid of grass
There is a zipper on my shoe
Sidewalk surfing no can do
I don't believe in Fletcher Jones, credit cards or tasteful homes
My furniture's not made of pine
And what the hell is Leapfrow wine?!
I don't read books by Maxy Walker
I can't say words like STRUTH! or CORKER!
I won't stick braces on my kids or tell them that the wrestling's rigged
Quiet wedding, cricket matches
Bungee jumping, elbow patches
Health farms, antiques, pride of Erin
Girls called Sharon, songs by Dylan
Carwash, mouthwash, acting college
Boy scout, your shout, eating porridge
These are things us wogs would never do
Oh, and we also don't like watching channel 2

Brilliant. Love that song.
Santo's a champ.

Skivvies are back!

Another classic!
What about their version of Everybody Hurts!

What's all that about?

Bob Loblaw wrote:What's all that about?

Wogs

hearts on fire wrote:

Bob Loblaw wrote:What's all that about?

Wogs

What's all that about?

We were sitting home one Sunday with a mate of ours called Kevin. We had the tv on and it was stupid channle 7. Suddenly Kev tells us "It's time for the Main Event!" We watched it for ten minutes then turned to Kev and said: "What all that about?"

We went walking down the shops to get a couple of Choc Wedges. We saw one of those posters up for Benson and Hedges. The one that has a lightbulb talking to a piece of bread. We looked at it for half an hour then we simply said: "What's all that about?"

Then we went to see a film to pass the time away. It was one of those arty ones by Peter Greenaway. All about a zebra and a pair of naked men. After seven hours I heard (cough cough) and then: "What's all that about?"

Later on we went to hear a speech by that John Hewson. After half an hour we could feel our belts loosen. He talked about his fight back package and his GST, but there was only one response as far as we could see: "What's all that about?"

After that we went to see a concert by The Cure, but sadly 15 minutes was all we could endure. The lead singer seemed quite depressed, he looked like he was dead. Halfway through the second song we turned around and said: "What's all that about?"

So we took a quiet drive out through the countryside, but pretty soon we found ourselves looking quite mystified. 'Cos tourists were all queueing up to see a giant worm. We looked at one another and had to use the term: "What's all that about?"

Pretty soon we were strolling through a quiet city mall. We came across something that never fails to appall. Students who strictly do theatre lit. I think you can imagine how the crowd reaction went: "What's all that about?"

We had a friend called Barry, he's demonically possessed. So we got some holy water and we tried to have him blessed. But the priest came in, Barry spewed, then he spun his head. The priest, he looked at us and very softly said: "What's all that about?"

Now even though this song could go another 20 verses, we really oughta stop before its impact all disperses. 'Cos right now lots of viewers are sitting there at home. They're calling up the ABC and asking down the phone: "What's all that about?"

This has all made me sh*t scared!

Dogwatcher wrote:This has all made me sh*t scared!

not just scared- 5hit scared!

Santo the Magnificent: I need a volunteer, perhaps someone female this time.....you, you, you ma'am! What is your name?
Volunteer: Mick
Santo the Magnificent: He speaks! (cue da, da, da music)

Ahhhhhh Shinto Scared!

Tom Gleisner: Did you fire warning shots?
FW de Clerk: Of course.
Tom: Above their heads?
FW: Above their kneecaps! You cannot get a stronger warning shot that that.

FW: I only hope, this does not distract us from our main objective.
Tom: Racsim?
FW: Rugby tours!

What we NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED, is understanding!

What does FW stand for?

Dogwatcher wrote:What does FW stand for?

Well, we were talking about this on the bus trip to Bowral the other morning...

Chuck Norris wrote:Tom Gleisner: Did you fire warning shots?
FW de Clerk: Of course.
Tom: Above their heads?
FW: Above their kneecaps! You cannot get a stronger warning shot that that.

FW: I only hope, this does not distract us from our main objective.
Tom: Racsim?
FW: Rugby tours!

De Clerk actually ended Apartheid, lifted the ban on the ANC, was behind Mandela getting released from prison and shared the Nobel Peace Prize with Nelson Mandela in 1993.
But hey don't let the facts get in the way of a "good"(??) joke.

pull the Champagne edition DVD out every now and then, classic

loved the interviews with Jeff Kennett (mine is the car with the flags on the front) and Yassar classics

but my favorite all time clip was from the D Gen, the thunderbirds skit, ******* classic "I'm almost there dad, go and close the door son" bloody funny

David Byrne = David Boon
Joan Jett = Joan Kirner
Crosby Stills Nash and Young = Grasby, Grills, Nudge and Plumb
Ian Drury = Brian Bury
Whitney Housten = Mike Whitney

And the way Mick Molloy used to explain his stuff ups used to crack me up too....

Rob Sitch playing the sax as Bill Clinton

Graham and Colonel - Pale Face Adious we love you

Funniest TV show ever and the Champaign comedy edition has pride of place in my DVD collection.

I am aware of a poster on this site who was in the studio audience once...

Got all of the series' minus about 2 episodes on DivX and drag them out every now and then.
Loved the Toilet Breaks showing ols Pot Luck contestents especially David Thai doing Pressure Down, Krista Krul doing Keep Me Hanging On and Piffy the Bell Ringer.
Also have D Gens original show on disc somewhere too.