SA Footy

Is it Entertainment ...? Or is it General Discussion...?

I think it's Entertainment?

The longer you sit in front of this stupid computer, the more you learn!

And you learn off other people.

We all travel down the same road in life......

Some get there a little faster than others.....

Some arrive in a racing car.... Some, as me, on a 3 legged horse....

I just learned how to download You tube videos......

I am an idiot compared to some of you computer people....

But in my circle of friends I am looked upon as Houdini with a keyboard....



Thankyou Footysa....

Do you have a story to tell....

Let's hear your story.....

Once upon a time there were three bears...

a daddy bear a mummy bearand a baby bear........

Hang on guys...let me fetch my blankie and my cuddle bunny first...




ok...carry on....were they scarwy bears ????




Regards
JAS

OK,not sure Dog_ger if this is supposed to be stories about computers but this one isn't.
In 1989 just after Gilbert McAdam won the Magarey Medal,a luncheon thingo was held down at Centrals at which a number of items of Club memorabilia was auctioned. Our hero, too classy to drink mere beer in such auspicious surroundings,and fuelled by bottle(s) of Gilbert McAdam Commemorative Port, has commenced a bidding war over a signed G McA guernsey. He is in battle with one Robert Zerella and bids are increasing in increments of $50. As the mark passes $500 he asks other members of the table to assist in the retrieval of his wallet from its nesting place and an assessment of its contents. "About 700" he is told. "$700" he bellows.Mr Zerella decides to move on with his life and a beaming Gilbert presents our man with said jumper,another bottle, then relieves him of the cash. Overcome with emotion and in a truly magnanimous gesture he donates the jumper back to the Club.
In the cold harsh light of morning (about 11 AM) he starts to wonder where all his money has gone.As he pieces the events of previous day back together and deflecting questions from his missus it occurs to him he is around $8-900 down the drain with nothing to show but the mother of all hangovers.He rings the Club and is told he can have the jumper back and can collect it at his convenience.This is accomplished that very afternoon and he is well pleased to have a few more drinks to celebrate his win.Well as you can well imagine time gets away from him,as do his senses, and he finishes up in much the same nick as the previous day.
Eventually making his way home he is greeted at the door by his wife.
Eager to include her in his good fortune and being the new age romantic I know him to be,he offers her the jumper,tells her he loves her and in a moment of inspired optomism utters the immortal line .......................

"Here.Put this on and bend over."

Kahuna wrote:OK,not sure Dog_ger if this is supposed to be stories about computers but this one isn't.
In 1989 just after Gilbert McAdam won the Magarey Medal,a luncheon thingo was held down at Centrals at which a number of items of Club memorabilia was auctioned. Our hero, too classy to drink mere beer in such auspicious surroundings,and fuelled by bottle(s) of Gilbert McAdam Commemorative Port, has commenced a bidding war over a signed G McA guernsey. He is in battle with one Robert Zerella and bids are increasing in increments of $50. As the mark passes $500 he asks other members of the table to assist in the retrieval of his wallet from its nesting place and an assessment of its contents. "About 700" he is told. "$700" he bellows.Mr Zerella decides to move on with his life and a beaming Gilbert presents our man with said jumper,another bottle, then relieves him of the cash. Overcome with emotion and in a truly magnanimous gesture he donates the jumper back to the Club.
In the cold harsh light of morning (about 11 AM) he starts to wonder where all his money has gone.As he pieces the events of previous day back together and deflecting questions from his missus it occurs to him he is around $8-900 down the drain with nothing to show but the mother of all hangovers.He rings the Club and is told he can have the jumper back and can collect it at his convenience.This is accomplished that very afternoon and he is well pleased to have a few more drinks to celebrate his win.Well as you can well imagine time gets away from him,as do his senses, and he finishes up in much the same nick as the previous day.
Eventually making his way home he is greeted at the door by his wife.
Eager to include her in his good fortune and being the new age romantic I know him to be,he offers her the jumper,tells her he loves her and in a moment of inspired optomism utters the immortal line .......................

"Here.Put this on and bend over."

Thats gold!

And what happened next? Which hospital did our hero finish up in?

he he, that's great, good one!

But where'd the bears go ...you guys said there were bears

Regards
JAS

Kahuna wrote:OK,not sure Dog_ger if this is supposed to be stories about computers but this one isn't.
In 1989 just after Gilbert McAdam won the Magarey Medal,a luncheon thingo was held down at Centrals at which a number of items of Club memorabilia was auctioned. Our hero, too classy to drink mere beer in such auspicious surroundings,and fuelled by bottle(s) of Gilbert McAdam Commemorative Port, has commenced a bidding war over a signed G McA guernsey. He is in battle with one Robert Zerella and bids are increasing in increments of $50. As the mark passes $500 he asks other members of the table to assist in the retrieval of his wallet from its nesting place and an assessment of its contents. "About 700" he is told. "$700" he bellows.Mr Zerella decides to move on with his life and a beaming Gilbert presents our man with said jumper,another bottle, then relieves him of the cash. Overcome with emotion and in a truly magnanimous gesture he donates the jumper back to the Club.
In the cold harsh light of morning (about 11 AM) he starts to wonder where all his money has gone.As he pieces the events of previous day back together and deflecting questions from his missus it occurs to him he is around $8-900 down the drain with nothing to show but the mother of all hangovers.He rings the Club and is told he can have the jumper back and can collect it at his convenience.This is accomplished that very afternoon and he is well pleased to have a few more drinks to celebrate his win.Well as you can well imagine time gets away from him,as do his senses, and he finishes up in much the same nick as the previous day.
Eventually making his way home he is greeted at the door by his wife.
Eager to include her in his good fortune and being the new age romantic I know him to be,he offers her the jumper,tells her he loves her and in a moment of inspired optomism utters the immortal line .......................

"Here.Put this on and bend over."

ROFLMFAO ... Funniest thing I've read on here

I got a story for you all. As most know i am a proud dad of twin boys. The day they were born was the greatest of my life.
The day began with a trip to the royal womens hospital and half a day there with all the test and preparations to induce my wife that Friday to have the twins.
They wanted to see the boys heart beats but my two lil ones didn't want a bar of that and played up. So they sent us home and said see you Friday.
Mrs. Strawb's and I were playing the Nintendo 64 around 4.30ish that afternoon when Mrs. Strawbs went to the toilet and her water broke.
Well we called an ambulance and they came thinking we were going to Werribee Mercy as they had 15 minutes left in their shift. They got a shock when they found out it was to the womens.
Mrs. Strawbs went up to take the stitch out by the time they got her ready she was fully dialated and the stitch was quickly removed.
Come 9.30 that night all over two twin healthy boys that couldn't wait three extra days to come into this world.

JAS wrote:But where'd the bears go ...you guys said there were bears

Regards
JAS

What about Goldielocks??

It was 2005, and playing A grade footy at the age of 17 I was holding a key role in the team throughout the season.
Come Mail Medal count, someone rang me up the night before and asked if i would like to attend the count.
I agreed, so the next day we drove about 100km to where the count was held.
I knew i wasn't in with much of a chance considering our team had won few games, but i regualrly poll well in these things, regardless.
But the end of it all i finished in eighth position.
Content with that, i resorted back to the can while they presented the big one.
Then they read my name out as the best placed under 21.
It was a complete surprise to me, but nonetheless i arrived up on stage in front of a few hundred people to collect my medal.
I gave a reasonably humble acceptance speech, before returning to my teammates table to their congratulations.
But low and behold, the MC returned to the stage, and announced an error in the under 21 award, three players aged twenty had placed above me.
Amidst apologies i returned the medal to the stage, and returned to my chair.
My hands never felt so empty.
Pricks.

Rough!

You'll get over it one day Silly Sky.

BTW- one of your journos picked up an award on the weekend didn't he?

YEah, i'm over it, and i know the poeple who made the medal.
My name was engraved on the back.
So i'm gonna get it soon and claim it anyway, i was better than those pricks who beat me.
Don't know too much about an award tho.
Elaborate

Alright, alright, here's the bears:

It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family are just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl.
It's empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?!" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl.
It's also empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?!" he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, "For Robran's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? I haven't made the F*7king porridge yet!!"

Ahh Kahuna,one of those 'a friend of mine' stories........sure.


You still with the Mrs?