SHIT TOWN POWER RANKINGS 8/3/2026
1. Toowoomba, QLD - Drongo electrocuted while trying to steal (worthless) live wires from power station
2. Maryborough, QLD - Gronk jailed for ramming vehicle with his kids in his car, after making 87 hoax calls to 000
3. Alice Springs, NT - Lunatic shot at by police after ramming cop car, while on parole for ram-raiding pub and dousing himself in petrol
4. Hervey Bay, QLD - Public wanking rock spider and toe amputee jailed again for harassing teen girl about feet
5. Sunset Strip, NSW - Residents find out tap water unsafe for all human use after 66 years of brushing their teeth with it
6. Kempsey, NSW - Cops find 52 weed plants, 38 snakes, 28 dogs, 19 lizards, 9 cats, 3 hedgehogs and a crocodile in alleged drug dealer’s house
7. Ballarat, VIC - 1700 pharmaceutical poppy plants stolen
8. The Plains, WA - Gronks charged after two stolen 100m² industrial sheds found on their property
9. Rockhampton, QLD - Maniac allegedly smashes 7 cop cars with sledgehammer and steals bunch of speed cameras
10. Port Pirie, SA - Still shit but no one can explain why
