BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

[Drop Bear]

Two married couples go away on holiday together. The two husbands, Paul and Dave decide to try and get their wives to swap for one night. Amazingly they agree!
Paul knows full well that his missus is on the rag, so he thinks he's got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast the next morning, they'll tap they're spoon on the table however many times they shagged the other one's missus. The next morning, Paul grins and taps the table twice. Dave stops, thinks, then taps his spoon once on the jam, and three times on the nutella.

[Media Park]

Two married couples go away on holiday together. The two husbands, Paul and Dave decide to try and get their wives to swap for one night. Amazingly they agree!
Paul knows full well that his missus is on the rag, so he thinks he's got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast the next morning, they'll tap they're spoon on the table however many times they shagged the other one's missus. The next morning, Paul grins and taps the table twice. Dave stops, thinks, then taps his spoon once on the jam, and three times on the nutella.

LOL

[The Dark Knight]

Two married couples go away on holiday together. The two husbands, Paul and Dave decide to try and get their wives to swap for one night. Amazingly they agree!
Paul knows full well that his missus is on the rag, so he thinks he's got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast the next morning, they'll tap they're spoon on the table however many times they shagged the other one's missus. The next morning, Paul grins and taps the table twice. Dave stops, thinks, then taps his spoon once on the jam, and three times on the nutella.

LOL

[The Dark Knight]

In the sleepy village of Erbum, in the town of Tillet, Hertfordshire lives a lady by the name Linda Lykes.
She owns the local pub called The Cock Inn.

Her mail is addressed:

Linda Lykes
The Cock Inn
ERBUM
Tillet, Herts.

[Media Park]

Wife sent me shopping today.

Told me to buy her something to make her look sexy for Mother's Day.

I bought a bottle of Jacks and a bag of ice...

[asert]

A bum walks into a bar and asked for a tooth pick. The bartender gave him one and he bolted. A minute later another bum rushed into the bar and asked for a toothpick, the bartender gave him one. A little while later a third bum came in and asked for a straw. "hey how come you didn't ask for a toothpick like those other two bums?" asked the bartender. "Some guy spewed in the alley," said the third bum "but those other two bastards got all the good stuff.

[valleys07]

A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightening.

One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, 'I'm too young to die,' she cried. Then she yelled, 'If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?'

For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then the man from Australia stood up in the rear of the plane.

He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest. She gasped...

Then, he spoke...
'Iron this will you -- and then get me a beer.

[sherminator]

An Italian, a German and an Australian were all in a bar having a beer and a chat when the discussion turned to their cars. The Italian proudly announced ... "In Italy I have a Ferrari. I call it Pussy because the engine purrs like a pussy cat".

The German answered ... "In Germany I have a Porsche. I call it the Lion because when I put my foot down it roars like a Lion".

The Australian says ... "In Australia I drive a Holden. I call it clitoris ...... cos every c**ts got one"

[am Bays]

''The Australian World Cup players visited an orphanage in South Africa this morning. 'It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people constantly struggling and facing the impossible,' said Kagiso Goitsemedime, aged 6.''

[The Dark Knight]

''The Australian World Cup players visited an orphanage in South Africa this morning. 'It's so good to put a smile on the faces of people constantly struggling and facing the impossible,' said Kagiso Goitsemedime, aged 6.''

Go the Aussies

[Media Park]

The lesbians next door bought me a watch for Christmas.

I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch!"

[Drop Bear]

George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's Eleven."


You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.


A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache."

[Media Park]

Sometimes when you cry, nobody sees your tears.

When in despair, nobody sees your pain.

When you're happy, no-one sees you smile.

But just try masturbating on a bus. You wouldn't believe the amount of attention you get!

PS. Can you pick me up from the police station in about an hour...?

[Vinney]

Sometimes when you cry, nobody sees your tears.

When in despair, nobody sees your pain.

When you're happy, no-one sees you smile.

But just try masturbating on a bus. You wouldn't believe the amount of attention you get!

PS. Can you pick me up from the police station in about an hour...?

Gold!!!

[Royal City]

What is the difference between Tyson Edwards and Brett Burton retiring ????


DIGNITY!!!!!

[Drop Bear]

Our new PM.

[steiger]

yep I rekn you got her just about right

[The Ash Man]

Internet Warning:

If you get an e-mail titled - 'Nude photo of Julia Gillard', don't open it ...








It contains a nude photo of Julia Gillard!!!!!

[The Ash Man]

Hey guys it’s me Kevin Rudd. Remember that $900 I lent you last year?

Yeah I lost my job and I’m gonna need that back…..

[Media Park]

Hey guys it’s me Kevin Rudd. Remember that $900 I lent you last year?

Yeah I lost my job and I’m gonna need that back…..

GOLD!!!