A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first
class section of an airplane.
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped
her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later,
the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose,
then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold,
the man was still curious about the shuddering.
A few more minutes passed when the woman
sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue,
wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to
the woman and said, 'I couldn't help but notice
that you've sneezed three times, wiped your
nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?'
'I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare
medical condition: Whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.'
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.
'I have never heard of that condition before' he said.
'Are you taking anything for it?'
The woman nodded. 'Pepper.'
BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply
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Re: BEST JOKES
by locky801 » Tue Nov 17, 2009 5:21 pm
Number One Idiot, so far in 2009
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away..
Number Two Idiot so far in 2009
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot so far in 2009
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and
wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank and
crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland ..
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
the Bank of Queensland . Happened in Noosa!
Number Four Idiot so far in 2009
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two
hours later.
Number Five Idiot so far in 2009
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him..
Number Six Idiot so far in 2009
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just
throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The
brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Flexi-Glass... The whole event was caught on
videotape.. Perth WA ..
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger..
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg..
Happened in Surfers Paradise !!!
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Melbourne .
JUST AN IDIOT :
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'
This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not
harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the
hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
emergency room right away..
Number Two Idiot so far in 2009
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a
Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Number Three Idiot so far in 2009
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland , walked into the Branch and
wrote 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank and
crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in
line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour,
told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was
written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either
have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland ..
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
the Bank of Queensland . Happened in Noosa!
Number Four Idiot so far in 2009
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of
Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the
cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but
the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe
him. At this point, the robber took his driver's licence out of his
wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of
the robber that she got off the licence. They arrested the robber two
hours later.
Number Five Idiot so far in 2009
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The
first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him..
Number Six Idiot so far in 2009
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just
throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window. The
brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store
window was made of Flexi-Glass... The whole event was caught on
videotape.. Perth WA ..
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger..
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg..
Happened in Surfers Paradise !!!
IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, ''Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge? To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Melbourne .
JUST AN IDIOT :
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealers to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!'
His reply, 'I know - I already done that side.'
This was at the FORD dealership Dubbo.
Life is about moments, Create them
Re: BEST JOKES
by mal » Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:46 am
Sprios and Trevor were in a deep conversation in Primary School, they were discussing the most excruciating pain that both had ever experienced.
" Trev you know the most pain Ive ever been in was for 6 months when I busted my ankle."
" Hey thats nothing Spiros, I was in so much pain once I couldnt walk for 12 months, I had to crawl everywhere."
" Why what happened ?
" My parents had me circumcised."
" Trev you know the most pain Ive ever been in was for 6 months when I busted my ankle."
" Hey thats nothing Spiros, I was in so much pain once I couldnt walk for 12 months, I had to crawl everywhere."
" Why what happened ?
" My parents had me circumcised."
Re: BEST JOKES
by Strawb » Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:50 pm
After a hard day down in the mine the seven Dwarfs come home. They decided to have a few beers and a relaxing time in the hot tub.
So after getting into their speedos and got the esky full of cold ones they hop into the hot tub and start relaxing. After a little while they all start feeling Happy.
So Happy say F**K OFF LEAVE ME ALONE and gets out.
So after getting into their speedos and got the esky full of cold ones they hop into the hot tub and start relaxing. After a little while they all start feeling Happy.
So Happy say F**K OFF LEAVE ME ALONE and gets out.
I am the Voice Left From Drinking
Re: BEST JOKES
by Bum Crack » Fri Nov 20, 2009 3:54 pm
Q. What's furry and sits on the wall??
A. Humpty Cun*y.
A. Humpty Cun*y.
So you've seen everything have you?
Yep
Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
No
Well you haven't seen everything then have you.
Yep
Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
No
Well you haven't seen everything then have you.
Re: BEST JOKES
by tipper » Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:47 pm
Three women die together in an accident and go to Heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says,
'We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
And although they try their best to avoid them,
The first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day,
The second woman steps accidentally on a duck
And along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and,
Not wanting to be chained
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months
Without stepping on any ducks,
But
One day St.Peter comes up to her
With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says,
'I wonder what I did to deserve being
Chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says,
'I don't know about you,
But I stepped on a
Duck.
When they get there, St. Peter says,
'We only have one rule here in heaven:
Don't step on the ducks!'
So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
There are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
And although they try their best to avoid them,
The first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
The next day,
The second woman steps accidentally on a duck
And along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man.
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and,
Not wanting to be chained
For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,
VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months
Without stepping on any ducks,
But
One day St.Peter comes up to her
With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
.... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says,
'I wonder what I did to deserve being
Chained to you for all of eternity?'
The guy says,
'I don't know about you,
But I stepped on a
Duck.
Re: BEST JOKES
by silicone skyline » Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:01 pm
A blonde gets a job as a teacher
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids
are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to
speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'It's best I stay here.' he says.
'Why?' says the blonde.
The boy says: "Because I'm the ******* goal keeper"
She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids
are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to
speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'It's best I stay here.' he says.
'Why?' says the blonde.
The boy says: "Because I'm the ******* goal keeper"
Ruthless and Relentless
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Re: BEST JOKES
by mal » Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:55 pm
A politician is huggling , kissing and fondling a feMALe staff memeber in her car outside Parliament House
He asks in a soft voice
" Do you wanna play around?"
She drove him to the North Adelaide Golf Course ...
He asks in a soft voice
" Do you wanna play around?"
She drove him to the North Adelaide Golf Course ...
Re: BEST JOKES
by mighty_tiger_79 » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:30 pm
mal wrote:A politician is huggling , kissing and fondling a feMALe staff memeber in her car outside Parliament House
He asks in a soft voice
" Do you wanna play around?"
She drove him to the North Adelaide Golf Course ...
mini putt putt???
Matty Wade is a star and deserves more respect from the forum family!
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Re: BEST JOKES
by mal » Tue Nov 24, 2009 10:07 pm
mighty_tiger_79 wrote:mal wrote:A politician is huggling , kissing and fondling a feMALe staff memeber in her car outside Parliament House
He asks in a soft voice
" Do you wanna play around?"
She drove him to the North Adelaide Golf Course ...
mini putt putt???
Imagine a hole in one ....
Re: BEST JOKES
by westozfalcon » Tue Nov 24, 2009 11:50 pm
An arrogant, filthy rich businessman had almost everything he wanted including time to enjoy himself - even time to take up golf. He bought the absolute best of everything he needed. Great clubs, shoes, sweaters as worn by the professionals, the lot, and he attacked his first game with gusto.
Behind him he left fairways looking like they'd been ploughed and greens looking like moles had surfaced in their hundreds. There were broken flag pins, clubs and mangled balls left in his wake, along with beer cans, fag butts and a littering of discarded score cards. His score was 285 which he celebrated in the clubhouse over a steak and a pint.
"Excuse me, sir," a discreet voice interrupted his mastications. "I'm the convenor of the Greens Committee."
The novice looked around, his face filled with indignation. "You're just the bloke I want to see. These brussels sprouts are cold!"
Behind him he left fairways looking like they'd been ploughed and greens looking like moles had surfaced in their hundreds. There were broken flag pins, clubs and mangled balls left in his wake, along with beer cans, fag butts and a littering of discarded score cards. His score was 285 which he celebrated in the clubhouse over a steak and a pint.
"Excuse me, sir," a discreet voice interrupted his mastications. "I'm the convenor of the Greens Committee."
The novice looked around, his face filled with indignation. "You're just the bloke I want to see. These brussels sprouts are cold!"
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Re: BEST JOKES
by locky801 » Wed Nov 25, 2009 4:44 pm
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , TX .
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer...
The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy.
License and registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law.
License and registration, please!' the Deputy repeats..
Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket... If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
That sounds fair.
Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'
God Bless Texas ........
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston , TX .
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'
'What for?' says the lawyer...
The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
Then the lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'
'You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy.
License and registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law.
License and registration, please!' the Deputy repeats..
Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket... If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
That sounds fair.
Please exit your vehicle, sir,' the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, 'Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?'
God Bless Texas ........
Life is about moments, Create them
Re: BEST JOKES
by mal » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:21 am
Whats the difference between Bill Clinton , Tiger Woods and Roy Jones Junior ?
Clinton and Woods last longer .....
Clinton and Woods last longer .....
Re: BEST JOKES
by silicone skyline » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:53 am
Two Gay Guys are walking through a Zoo.
They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.
The gay men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.
When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, 'Are you hurt?'
'AM I HURT?' he shouts;
'Wouldn't you be?.............he hasn't called....he hasn't written....'
They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.
The gay men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.
When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, 'Are you hurt?'
'AM I HURT?' he shouts;
'Wouldn't you be?.............he hasn't called....he hasn't written....'
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Re: BEST JOKES
by Bum Crack » Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:18 am
silicone skyline wrote:Two Gay Guys are walking through a Zoo.
They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection.
The gay men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.
When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, 'Are you hurt?'
'AM I HURT?' he shouts;
'Wouldn't you be?.............he hasn't called....he hasn't written....'
haha. i was just getting on to post this joke and you beat me to it.
So you've seen everything have you?
Yep
Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
No
Well you haven't seen everything then have you.
Yep
Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?
No
Well you haven't seen everything then have you.
Re: BEST JOKES
by Strawb » Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:51 pm
one hundred years ago when a group of white men chased a black man it was the ku klux klan nowdays it is just the US PGA tour.
I am the Voice Left From Drinking
Re: BEST JOKES
by locky801 » Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:55 pm
BAD TIGER...
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly but put me down for a 5."
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400yds
It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had.
A movie is being developed base on events, titled "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant".
EA Sports are releasing new Playstation game... "Tiger Woods 2010, Grand Theft Auto"
What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?...
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly but put me down for a 5."
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400yds
It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had.
A movie is being developed base on events, titled "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant".
EA Sports are releasing new Playstation game... "Tiger Woods 2010, Grand Theft Auto"
What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?...
Life is about moments, Create them
Re: BEST JOKES
by Punk Rooster » Sat Dec 05, 2009 9:52 pm
mal wrote:mighty_tiger_79 wrote:mal wrote:A politician is huggling , kissing and fondling a feMALe staff memeber in her car outside Parliament House
He asks in a soft voice
" Do you wanna play around?"
She drove him to the North Adelaide Golf Course ...
mini putt putt???
Imagine a hole in one ....
or playing the back 9...
Ralph Wiggum wrote:That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things
Ken Farmer>John Coleman
Hindmarsh Pest Control
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Re: BEST JOKES
by westozfalcon » Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:50 pm
locky801 wrote:BAD TIGER...
Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly but put me down for a 5."
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400yds
It was just reported that Phil Mickelson contacted Tiger's wife to pick up some tips on how to beat Tiger.
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.
Tiger Woods has been dropped by Gillette after admitting that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had.
A movie is being developed base on events, titled "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant".
EA Sports are releasing new Playstation game... "Tiger Woods 2010, Grand Theft Auto"
What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.
Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.
Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?...
Tiger Wood's wife Elin has agreed to take him back as long as he changes his name to Cheetah.
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