BEST JOKES - Warning: Site Rules Still Apply

[silicone skyline]

Two pieces of rope go into a bar.
One piece of rope goes up to the bar to order a drink.
"We don't serve pieces of rope here mate," the barman says.
So, the piece of rope returns back to the table, slightly dejected.
On seeing this, the second piece of rope gets up, wriggles around until a knot forms in his middle and ruffles up both his ends, making him look rather scruffy.
He then approaches the bar and orders a drink.
"You're not a piece of rope are you?" the barman says.
"No sir, I'm afraid not."

[Baron Greenback]

Ba doom tish!

[mal]

Actually Im a bit concerned about something
Did everyone get my punchline in my 1st to land in OZ ????????????????????
When Ive told that joke live some people have told me how clever it was.

maybe something was lost in the timing? (2 months...?)

2 months !
Reminds me of this
I walked in to Punks unit one day and he was doing a Jigsaw puzzle
With great delight Punk says to me
" HEY MAL I JUST FINISHED THE PUZZLE AM I CLEVER OR WHAT ?"
" Whats so clever about that , theres only 50 pieces."
" BUT I AM CLEVER MAL IT ONLY TOOK ME 2 MONTHS TO FINISH IT."
" Maaaaate thats not clever."
" OH YES IT IS MAL, HAVALOOK IT SAYS FOR 2-5 YEARS ON THE PACKET....

[Dutchy]

[Mr66]

Worst joke ever?

It's Comic Book Guy!

Worst....joke....ever!!!

I agree ....but I still laughed

[Strawb]

Gold

[mighty_tiger_79]

Gold

but they are 1-100 and looking good for first innings points.....its the rest of the season that could be a joke

[Zelezny Chucks]

2 for 130 odd now. The rate they are going they would run out of time to get first innings points anyway.

[Drop Bear]

the man from mars in 1328
he was flying over Australia and his spacecraft MALfunctioned
the spaceship crashed and landed in Australia
the man from Mars was called ' a stray alien ' ....

All I've got to say is.......Mally Mally Mally.

[mal]

My doctor has WARNEd me that my blood pressure is too high
The Doc told me no excitement in my life
Im about to purchase a seasons ticket to see the Redbacks ...

[Mythical Creature]

You gonna purchase 4 season tickets

[Drop Bear]

You gonna purchase 4 season tickets

Haha. Now that's funny!

[mal]

DB
Trying to get the 50000 posts up on this thread with Martian Jokes and 4play posts

[Drop Bear]

DB
Trying to get the 50000 posts up on this thread with Martian Jokes and 4play posts

No worries. Good idea.

[Thiele]

What do you call a man with 3 balls?

A Juggler

[mal]

What do you call a man with 3 balls?

A Juggler

9278 posts and finally we get THIELE to crack a joke

Why do pinball machines tilt?
So would you if you had 3 balls ....

[mal]

SHANE WARNE
Recently split with wife Simone

BEFORE WARNNNNEYS MARRAIGE

SHANE: AH AT LAST I CAN HARDLY WAIT
SIM : do you want me to leave ?
SHANE: NO , DONT EVEN THINK OF THAT
SIM : do you luv me?
SHANE : OF COURSE ! ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL
SIM: have you ever cheated on me?
SHANE : NO. WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING ?
SIM : will you kiss me ?
SHANE : EVERY CHANCE I GET
SIM : will you purve on other women ?
SHANE :HELL NO ARE YOU CRAZY
SIM : can I trust you ?
SHANE: YES
SIM : darling !

AFTER WARRRRRNEYS MARRIAGE
Read from bottom to top ...

[Johno37]

this thread has gone down hill dramatically in the last couple of pages

[JK]

AFL Design of Guernsey for the new Tasmanian Team:

[Drop Bear]

AFL Design of Guernsey for the new Tasmanian Team:

snore