Simpsons sayings/pharses

[Jimmy]

Marge: Homer, work called, they said if you dont come in today, dont bother coming in Monday.
Homer: WOOHOO, 4 day weekend!!!

:D

comedy ******* gold!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jimmy]

Homer: The bird...its drinking the water!

[Punk Rooster]

Homer: "Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place. I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies!"

Lesbian: What's her problem?

[The_Bay_Boy]

Homer to Marge:

Listen marge, you don't know what it's like out there.
I'm the one going out there everyday putting my arse on the line
and i'm not out of order
your out of order
the whole friggen system is out of order
you want the truth
you want the truth
YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH
coz when you reach over and put your hands into a pile of goo
that was your best friends face
you'll know what to do
forget it marge.....it's china town!!!!!

[blink]

After Homer is rejected by all colleges that he has applied for:

Lisa: What are you going to do now Dad?

Homer: Something I should have done a long long time ago.....

Large pause.

Marge: You don't know do you
Homer: No M'am.

Also same episode, Homer builds a book case out of cinder blocks & timber.

Marge: Homer, we had a perfectly good book case.

Homer: But Marge, this is what all the guys on campus are doing. Plus, I swipped the cinder blocks from a construction site!

Flashes to workers at construction site.

Worker: Sir six cinder blocks are missing
Boss: There will be no hospital then. I'll tell the dying children....

[duncs7]

ere are a few of my fav's
"In this house we obey the laws of Thermodynamics!" Homer

"Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic." Homer

"Church, cult, cult, church--so we get bored somewhere else every Sunday." Bart

"Just once I'd like someone to call me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene.' " Homer

"I felt a surge of power, like god must feel -- when he's holding a gun."

"I could crush him like an ant. But it would be too easy. No, revenge is a dish best served cold. I'll bide my time until ... Oh, what the hell. I'll just crush him like an ant." Burns

"Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer?" Wiggum

"I stand by my racial slur." Quimby

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!" Homer

"Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close" Homer

"The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few." Grandpa

"I wore an onion on my belt....which was the style at the time" Grandpa

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." Lionel Hutz

"Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

[Mr66]

The Simpsons end up in Italy, but a have a problem communicating when Homer drops a pearler,
"Hey, you learn to speak my language, I learnt to eat your food!!"

[Mr66]

The infamous episode when George Bush Snr moved in across the road and ended up having a war with Homer & Bart.
Bart: "He spanked me and said it was for the good of the nation".
Bush Snr while fighting with Homer "I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet".

[spell_check]

I've posted it before and I'll post it again:

Patty: I can't believe Aunty Gladys is really gone.
Selma: Her legend will live forever.
Homers' Brain: Yeah, the legend of the dog faced woman!
Homer: Hahaha! Legend of the dog faced woman! Oh, that's good!
(Pause)
Marge: Homer, how very rude of you!
Homer: Wha...D'OH!

[Mr66]

Homer; "Here's to alcohol, the cause AND solution to life's problems".

[duncs7]

Homer: No Tv, no beer make Homer go something something?

Marge: Go Crazy

Homer: DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RustyCage]

"If Homer J Simpson wants his son to work in a burlesque house, then Homer J Simpsons son will work in a burlesque house. Oh hi Marge. Now you may hear some crazy talk about Bart working in a burlesque house...."

[spell_check]

Mayor Quimby and staff/associates approaching Moe's Tavern:

I am going to drink you under the table!...no, I am going to drink you under the table!

(Neon sign goes out) Ohhhh.

[Booney]

Cletus' wife when asked about Cletus:

"He's the best son and husband a girl could ever have."

[blink]

Marge (reading from magazine): Do you often drink alone or with another person?
Homer: Is God a person?
Marge: No!

Marge (reading from magazine): Do you leave cans of beer in various places around the house?
Homer: Do I! (Opens top of toilet and pulls out can of beer)

Marge: Homer, I want you to tell me you won't drink anymore beer.
Homer: Ok Marge..I won't drink any more deer.
Marge: You said Deer!
Homer: Ok I won't drink anymore beer. Goodnight.
(Light goes off - silence)
Chhhkaa (beer can opens)
Marge: HOMER, WAS THAT YOU OPENING A BEER?!!
Homer: No, I said "chhkaa" I love you.

[Leaping Lindner]

"Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed."

[spell_check]

Homer: "Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place. I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies!"

LMFAO .. Thats top shelf!!

As he walks out: "What's her problem?"



Mr. Burns: Smithers, for attempting to kill me, I'm giving you a five percent pay cut.

[spell_check]

Homer: "Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place. I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies!"

Lesbian: What's her problem?

I missed that punky.

Although then there was Smithers cowering in a corner in what Mr. Burns calls "A nude female fire station"

[spell_check]

"Smithers, have the Rolling Stones killed."

But sir, those are the...

Do as I say!

[Mr66]

Whilst trying to close down the burlesque house, several characters are
photographed coming out of it, including Smithers who replies
"Mom and Dad said I should try it"